The mental load: The invisible burden leading to burnout for working mums

When we talk about workload, we often focus on the physical tasks like deadlines, meetings and family chores. But there’s another aspect that often goes unnoticed: the mental load.

For many working mums, it’s not just about juggling the daily tasks; it’s the constant mental gymnastics of remembering everything that needs to be done, planning ahead and anticipating every need before it arises.

Realising the kids' school money account needs topping up, noticing there’s no milk left in the fridge, remembering a work deadline or squeezing in time to order birthday gifts. And all of this before you've even left the house in the morning.

Here’s the kicker: This invisible load isn’t just time-consuming. It’s emotionally and mentally draining and it’s leading to burnout.

Why the mental load is overwhelming for working mums

It’s invisible but constant

Unlike physical tasks that you can check off your to-do list, the mental load is always running in the background. It’s like a mental tab that never closes. You’re constantly tracking, organising and making plans, which leaves you mentally fatigued and emotionally spent.

It’s disproportionately carried by women

Even in dual-income households, studies show that women still carry the majority of domestic and emotional labor. According to a report by the UK’s Office for National Statistics (ONS), women are more likely to take on the bulk of unpaid domestic work, even when they are working full-time. This creates a situation where women are managing both their careers and the majority of the household responsibilities.

It keeps women in a permanent state of mental clutter

The sheer volume of things to remember, track and plan means that focus is constantly being pulled in different directions. This scattered mental state makes it harder to focus, be productive and remain present in both work and home life.

Constant mental clutter not only affects your productivity at work but can also cause tension in personal relationships, as you feel mentally “checked out” or overwhelmed.

The silent reason women are leaving their careers

Many talented, ambitious mums eventually reach a breaking point where something has to give. Unfortunately, more often than not, that “something” is their career.

Not because they aren’t passionate about their work or don’t have the potential to succeed, but because the weight of it all becomes unsustainable.

The combination of managing a demanding job, keeping the household running and bearing the invisible mental load can force even the most capable women to step back. This is not a personal failing. It’s a systemic issue.

As long as outdated gender roles persist and workplace structures remain rigid, we’ll continue to see women, especially working mums, leaving leadership roles or choosing to reduce their hours, not because they’re not capable, but because they are exhausted.

The solution

So, what can be done about this? How can we reduce the mental load and support working mums in a way that empowers them rather than burning them out?

Flexible working arrangements are essential. Studies show that flexible working hours and remote work options improve employee satisfaction and reduce stress. In fact, 75% of parents in the UK have said that flexible working would make them feel more supported in managing their family and career responsibilities. 

We need to stop viewing motherhood and professional success as mutually exclusive. The idea that a woman must “choose” between her career and being a good mum is outdated and harmful. Working mums can, and do, excel in both areas. It’s time to change the narrative and start creating a culture that embraces women in all their roles.

Burnout is not a personal problem, it’s a systemic one. We need to stop treating it as an individual failing and start looking at the structural changes necessary to better support working mums. From equal distribution of unpaid domestic labor to workplace policies that recognise and support the invisible work of managing a family, change is necessary.

It’s time to break the silence on the mental load

By acknowledging the mental load and finding practical solutions to support working mums, we can help reduce the burnout and create environments where women can thrive both personally and professionally.

Let’s start by challenging outdated gender expectations, offering more flexible working arrangements and taking steps toward a more supportive, empathetic work culture that empowers women to be the leaders they are meant to be.